Have you "slept" with Matteo Lane?

Posted by Sebrina Pilcher on Monday, May 6, 2024

His live act is littered with references to his apparent whoredom.

If this isn't fiction for cheap laughs there must be someone here who has drilled him.

Tell all.

by Anonymousreply 320December 31, 2023 11:26 PM

there isn't a gag strong enough to keep that purse from falling out.

those sort of hipster daddies and rednecks wouldn't last a second on the dl.

by Anonymousreply 1December 26, 2022 9:10 AM

I find him adorable and very sexy. He appears to be small of dick though, so I'd have to do all the topping. I've been binge watching his YouTube videos and he's fucking hilarious, especially when he hangs out with his beanpole realtor friend Nick who makes Matteo look like super butch Marine.

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by Anonymousreply 3February 5, 2023 2:33 AM

May not have much in the testicles, but he ain't too shabby in the pecticles.

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by Anonymousreply 5February 5, 2023 2:37 AM

This seems like more of a Dan Savage crowd.

by Anonymousreply 6February 5, 2023 2:37 AM

He may be very very gay, but I'm betting when he's naked with another man he butches it up like a motherfucker. I get the feeling he's probably a hot, nasty fuck too.

by Anonymousreply 7February 5, 2023 2:41 AM

[quote] This seems like more of a Dan Savage crowd.

Is that good or bad?

by Anonymousreply 8February 5, 2023 2:41 AM

That pumpkin carving video was BS. Where are the fucking jokes?

And here's the problem with Matteo and his ilk. He has those sexy Italian genes but kween is just way to nelly. There is zero sex appeal.

This is why I need to meet a guy for drinks before agreeing to fuck him. If he shows up and a big purse falls out of his mouth, I'm out.

by Anonymousreply 9February 5, 2023 2:42 AM

He is strictly bottom and annoying.

by Anonymousreply 10February 5, 2023 2:48 AM

My firend hooked up with him before he got more famous. Bottom but has a big dick (well he is very tiny so maybe normal but looks big on him). He is italian and mexican I beleive. Not at all a cuddler, he was over it after it was done (so says my friend). He is/was very famous in the nyc club scene, friends with Bob the Drag queen, Pepermint etc..

by Anonymousreply 11February 5, 2023 2:52 AM

His whole act is about his gayness, so obviously he's going to gay it up. I'm betting when you get him away from the cameras or the state he calms down considerably.

by Anonymousreply 12February 5, 2023 2:53 AM

He's hot and funny, I'd do him.

I always wonder about the posters attacking out gay men for being feminine. I either picture rabid closet cases or complete hypocrites with extreme deficits of masculinity of their own. IRL it's ALWAYS those two types and often overlapping...

by Anonymousreply 13February 5, 2023 2:54 AM

[quote] he was over it after it was done (so says my friend).

Sounds like maybe he didn't enjoy it.

by Anonymousreply 14February 5, 2023 2:54 AM

Matteo does Bob The Drag Queen's makeup.

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by Anonymousreply 15February 5, 2023 2:56 AM

No r13 it's just that we find femme queens sexually unattractive. Especially those who engage in all the stereotypical behavior like a gay minstrel show. We're not closeted or self-loathing, we just are who we are which are normal, regular men.

by Anonymousreply 16February 5, 2023 2:56 AM

r14 No, becuase he has called my friend a few times, he is just one of those guys who does not want the fwb to stock around. He got a shower and a cya. He said it was not mean spiriited just a that was great but you can't stay.

by Anonymousreply 17February 5, 2023 2:59 AM

He’s also a professional artist. He studied in Italy and worked in advertising. He also sings opera. He speaks multiple languages to boot.

by Anonymousreply 18February 5, 2023 3:03 AM

R13 Why is it that you can't wrap your mind around the fact that we're into masculine guys, and it doesn't mean we have internalized homophobia or are closet cases.

We simply like masc guys. Don't try to shame us simply because we don't want to fuck your femboy ass.

by Anonymousreply 19February 5, 2023 3:03 AM

He has his moments but his 'all-gay-all-the-time' comedy routine will never make him truly famous, just gay-famous. And even then, you can only go to one or two shows before you say, "oh, I've already seen him twice, different topic, but same gay jokes..."

by Anonymousreply 20February 5, 2023 3:08 AM

[quote] We simply like masc guys. Don't try to shame us simply because we don't want to fuck your femboy ass.

"We"?

By which you mean you and what other gurrrrllll, [italic]Mary!?[/italic]

by Anonymousreply 21February 5, 2023 3:09 AM

I would hit that, however his vocalizing the ecstasy might be problematic

by Anonymousreply 22February 5, 2023 4:12 AM

Some of us prefer a masc guy over a Queer Eye reject. Shouldn’t be a problem.

by Anonymousreply 23February 5, 2023 4:39 AM

That boy can cook too. I've been watching his cooking videos and when it comes to Italian cooking he knows his stuff,

by Anonymousreply 25February 5, 2023 11:50 AM

[quote] you can only go to one or two shows before you say, "oh, I've already seen him twice, different topic, but same gay jokes..."

Every comedian is the same way, gay or not. They usually have a set show they do everywhere until they come up with a new routine. He did one show called "The Advice Show" where he just had the audience ask him for advice on whatever they wanted. It's hilarious.

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by Anonymousreply 26February 5, 2023 11:53 AM

Matteo, stop posting on DL, it won't make you "happen" sweetheart

by Anonymousreply 27February 5, 2023 12:12 PM

I’m with R19 R23 et al. I’m only attracted to masc men. The fem thing is a major wilter, always has been for me. I live in NY and have gay friends. Some are on the more delicate end of the spectrum or the too-gay end but I like them, as friends. Absolutely zero sexual attraction. Doesn’t matter if you’re a gym rat, all-star athlete, or a nerd. If you’re fem, you might as well be female or a piece of furniture, my dick ain’t comin’ out, much less cumming.

And by masc, I don’t mean performative or affected. Just regular maleness, normal dude kinda stuff.

by Anonymousreply 28February 5, 2023 12:18 PM

^ and to add a note, to stay on topic, Mateo is way way too fem. If he wouldn’t talk or move about, he might be able to fool you for a second. I saw a pic of him before I knew of him and I was like “fuck yeah”. Then I saw a vid of him and it was immediately “fuck no”.

He’s not funny at all but that isn’t a problem for my dick. A lot of people having middling careers they aren’t very good at. I could support us both, if there was a male version of him.

R28

by Anonymousreply 29February 5, 2023 12:28 PM

I'm a top. He's incredibly hot. I'd gladly pound his hot ass. I bet he's an animal in bed.

by Anonymousreply 30February 5, 2023 12:37 PM

The whole 'fem gay' thing is all part of his act, so I'm confident when he's performing he's gaying it up far more than when he's not performing.

by Anonymousreply 31February 5, 2023 12:38 PM

I would never hook up with a nelly queen. Why, I simply couldn't! When purses fall out, my stars, it's such a dick wilter. Listen, it's just that I am very masculine and my bottoms must be masculine men! I may be 64 but I LOOK 42 and my dance card is always full, so no, simply out of the question. No nellies!

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by Anonymousreply 32February 5, 2023 12:49 PM

He's funny for 15 minutes in one's lifetime. After that, you've had sufficient.

by Anonymousreply 33February 5, 2023 1:03 PM

[quote] When purses fall out, my stars,

Hon, butch gay men don't say "my stars".

by Anonymousreply 34February 5, 2023 1:06 PM

R34 and R35 are satire free zones. My stars!

by Anonymousreply 36February 5, 2023 1:21 PM

You'd have to be very careful with his "hair".

Or you could snatch it . It would be a cool trick trophy.

by Anonymousreply 37February 5, 2023 1:56 PM

He's recently had a hair transplant. He talks about it in his interviews.

by Anonymousreply 38February 5, 2023 2:14 PM

Big cock? A grower, then, not a shower.

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by Anonymousreply 39February 5, 2023 2:17 PM

[quote] the fact that we're into masculine guys

That's not a fact; that's your own opinion reflected on the rest of us. It's the claim to say something universally true that bothers me - in all online forums. If people then reject the statement (because a feeling claimed as a statement is so easily challenged) posters stomp their feet because their feelings got invalidated. And that's how a bitchy cat fight about something stupid and minor breaks loose.

More to the point: If YOU are into butch guys, go for it. Tell us that you like them. Some will share your preference. Some can add that they prefer something else. And we go our way. Just don't claim that your opinion is the universal truth. You are losing your case when you do that. And your feelings get hurt.

by Anonymousreply 40February 5, 2023 2:17 PM

He’s confident and that’s super sexy. I don’t care how fem he is or isn’t. He’s hot as fuck, confident, and funny. A triple threat.

by Anonymousreply 41February 5, 2023 2:25 PM

R39 poor thing. He coulda at least primed the pump for that shot. If you know it’s a shoot of you in underwear, put a little effort into it.

I’m not a size preoccupied guy at all. But try a little.

by Anonymousreply 42February 5, 2023 2:26 PM

R41 confidence and arrogance/narcissism are not the same thing. At all. Most people can tell the difference.

A triple threat usually means some combination of talent..at something, anything. We’re talking about fucking him not signing him to a label.

by Anonymousreply 43February 5, 2023 2:29 PM

I haven’t even slept with/on Penny Lane yet!

by Anonymousreply 44February 5, 2023 2:34 PM

I do have to laugh at the mental image of a bunch of fat and sexless posters pronouncing Matteo isn't masc enough for them as if the guy would give them the time of day anyway.

That said, I don't really find his schtick funny. If he didn't have that gym body would anyone be talking about him.

by Anonymousreply 45February 5, 2023 2:39 PM

He’s only well known because he’s cute

by Anonymousreply 47February 5, 2023 3:02 PM

He’s recently been bulking up. He was talking about it on some gay show

by Anonymousreply 48February 5, 2023 3:07 PM

R47 is he well known though? I’m gay, I’ve lived in NYC for ~15 years, I’m in my early/mid 30s, I’m social and active in the scene to a degree. I had never heard of him until I started using DL ~8 mos ago. I vaguely felt like he looked familiar in the first thread I saw, but not from seeing him IRL. More like I might’ve seen a pic of him online maybe.

by Anonymousreply 49February 5, 2023 3:10 PM

I don't find him attractive at all.

by Anonymousreply 50February 5, 2023 3:12 PM

I only know him because YouTube keeps sticking him in my feed

by Anonymousreply 51February 5, 2023 3:22 PM

R49 He is gay circle famous. Works a lot of straight comedy clubs but hangs with other gay famous NYCers. Cazwell, Peppermint, Bob the Drag Queen, He is genuinely nice but can be aloof. I don't know know him but met him a few times. I am 6'2" he is tiny. Not like Andy Cohen tiny, but close. He is very very cute in person in that pocket-gay kind of way and best of all he owns it. He is pretty interesting to talk to outside of comedy. Speaks a few languages, trained in opera (knows Monet XChange too, who also is trained in opera). I would have shot my shot but he was fucking a friend of mine so off limits. Seems to have zero interest in a boyfriend though.

by Anonymousreply 52February 5, 2023 3:27 PM

[quote] Just don't claim that your opinion is the universal truth.

He wasn't, you idiot.

You do the hysterical queen thing very well, though.

by Anonymousreply 53February 5, 2023 3:35 PM

^ Now that's input I can appreciate. Thanks for posting, r52.

by Anonymousreply 54February 5, 2023 3:36 PM

[quote]until I started using DL ~8 mos ago.

I feel so…so…used!

I feel dirty. Oh so dirty.

by Anonymousreply 55February 5, 2023 3:38 PM

God is there some self loathing bullshit being posted.

by Anonymousreply 56February 5, 2023 3:39 PM

A fit guy with a nubby placid cock is considered classic perfection. I really don't mind it, aesthetically.

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by Anonymousreply 57February 5, 2023 3:51 PM

^ uh, that was ~2200 years ago. Standards evolve. The Romans had a thing for it too, b/t 500 and 2000 years ago.

Keep up.

by Anonymousreply 58February 5, 2023 3:53 PM

Matteo has openly talked about being a big ole bottom. It's not like he is trying to pretend otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 59February 5, 2023 3:53 PM

r56 it's not self loathing at all to not be attracted to a minstrel show.

by Anonymousreply 60February 5, 2023 4:27 PM

I slept with Jani Lane and then he died.

by Anonymousreply 61February 5, 2023 4:29 PM

[quote]Matteo has openly talked about being a big ole bottom.

Like there was some mystery?

by Anonymousreply 62February 5, 2023 4:39 PM

This thread is pretty hilarious. Those of you declaring that only the most macho of macho men are good enough for you are on other threads swooning over Beyonce.

by Anonymousreply 65February 5, 2023 5:43 PM

[quote] He has those sexy Italian genes but kween is just way to nelly. There is zero sex appeal.

Those gays calling out every hint of homophobia on the Republican side, they cannot possibly be the same who post degrading shit like this. Right?

by Anonymousreply 66February 5, 2023 5:48 PM

Sorry femmebottoms but you're just not attractive to a lot of other gay guys. I want a regular, normal guy, not a Yaassss Queen who has a purse fall out of his mouth every time he opens it.

Put it this way - I'd rather fuck Matt Bomer than Frankie Grande. Do you get it now?

by Anonymousreply 67February 5, 2023 6:19 PM

R16 = tell me you're not a self-loathing homophone w/o saying you're a self-loathing homophobe

by Anonymousreply 68February 5, 2023 6:41 PM

I think he's more of a yaaaskweeniphobe, R68.

by Anonymousreply 71February 5, 2023 6:46 PM

[quote]tell me you're not a self-loathing homophone w/o saying you're a self-loathing homophobe

Nope. I've been out since my teens. I like being gay and have no problem with it. I just don't want to fuck Drag Race contestants.

by Anonymousreply 72February 5, 2023 6:58 PM

R60, you’re right. That’s not what I meant. It’s perfectly reasonable to not be attracted to someone. Attacking them for what they are is not.

by Anonymousreply 73February 5, 2023 7:35 PM

Let me tell you now so I don't have to tell you later. My bottoms are handsome and masculine, ranging from stocky types who look like Tommy Garoppolo, to wiry like Stefanos Tsitsipas. I've had so many jocks from nearby USC over the years. Too many to count. I'm sure they pass around my name. I don't mind if they are discreetly gay, in fact it's better. But when a purse falls out of their mouths, it's an INSTANT deal breaker. Don't ask me to apologize for being a masculine top with 9 fat inches. I've been one for over 50 years and I still have the cream of the crop at my door. Sorry not sorry.

by Anonymousreply 74February 5, 2023 7:49 PM

This sparkle pony may get action in New York City among you queeny art dealers and fairy florists and fancy bankers. Well I'm a life-long rancher and no Nelly Boy is going to get laid on my land. Let's be frank. Sure, they can be pretty and seductive with their doe eyes and smooth, sweet smelling skin and cat-light muscles, their flittering fingers and creative flairs. I'm not against any of that, no siree. But there's a place for it, and it ain't at my knees or against the tree or lordy not in my bed. So stop trying for force your Frenchy or Italian peacock men on us. We don't want them!

by Anonymousreply 76February 5, 2023 8:07 PM

R68 fucked that whole thing up!

by Anonymousreply 77February 5, 2023 9:10 PM

[quote]Have you "slept" with Matteo Lane?

The word fuck is to good for you OP?

by Anonymousreply 78February 5, 2023 9:14 PM

Idk, is that extra necessary O too good for you?

by Anonymousreply 79February 5, 2023 9:18 PM

R80, I said this on another thread and it applies here.

I love people like you who don’t take things too seriously and can roll with a joke.

You make this a more pleasant place to be.

by Anonymousreply 81February 5, 2023 9:23 PM

Short guys with muscles are like fat girls with big tits.

by Anonymousreply 82February 5, 2023 10:51 PM

" I just don't want to fuck Drag Race contestants."

Sometimes the lack of self awareness of the people who post on this board is truly epic in scale.

by Anonymousreply 83February 5, 2023 10:54 PM

r83 what was meant by that is I don't want to fuck flaming stereotypes. But you knew that.

by Anonymousreply 84February 6, 2023 12:26 AM

I just figured out why I have such a hard time following this thread. I had blocked so many posters (or just one?) in other threads, and now there are gaps in this one. Oh well... I'm assuming I don't miss much.

by Anonymousreply 85February 6, 2023 12:52 AM

[quote] a nubby placid cock

Didn't they name a big lake after his cock? 😄

by Anonymousreply 86February 6, 2023 1:34 AM

[quote] I want a regular, normal guy, not a Yaassss Queen who has a purse fall out of his mouth every time he opens it.

What does it take to make you people understand that the guy you see on the screen and the guy you'd see in private are very likely vastly different. I'm betting when he's alone with some hottie getting ready to be mounted he's a nasty horndog with nary a lisp to be heard.

But you know what? If I had a chance at him and he threw out a big ol' "yas girl" when I was hittin' that prostate it wouldn't phase me one iota.

by Anonymousreply 87February 6, 2023 1:39 AM

His vocal range is staggering. He can squeal like a little girl or go very deep baritone in the same sentence. I love his voice. Very sexy.

by Anonymousreply 88February 6, 2023 1:40 AM

He tries to work singing into his act and it’s just cringe. He thinks he’s going to shock people. He does but for all the wrong reasons.

by Anonymousreply 89February 6, 2023 1:42 AM

[quote] The word fuck is to good for you OP?

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 90February 6, 2023 1:42 AM

R87 give it up. 72.6% of DL are frigid queens - top or bottom - little difference -and the sex and partner preferences they speak about on DL are fantasies.

by Anonymousreply 91February 6, 2023 1:43 AM

I hope he’s fucking his straight BFF and roommate, comedian Evan Williams, who’s now divorced and single.

by Anonymousreply 92February 6, 2023 1:44 AM

His real name is Matthew. Where the fuck did he get Matteo?

by Anonymousreply 93February 6, 2023 1:44 AM

Matteo doesn't fuck anyone. He only gets fucked. But if he's gettin' that straight dick, then good for him.

by Anonymousreply 94February 6, 2023 1:45 AM

Matteo is a nickname given to him by his family.

by Anonymousreply 95February 6, 2023 1:47 AM

What is his real first name? Matthew?

by Anonymousreply 96February 6, 2023 2:51 AM

He always makes me laugh, although I have to admit it's annoying when he tries to show off his knowledge of other languages or his singing.

I like that he's confident about his looks and yet doesn't come across as arrogant about them.

by Anonymousreply 97February 6, 2023 2:53 AM

R97 Because he is four foot, six.

by Anonymousreply 98February 6, 2023 2:56 AM

I thought his first name was Joey? or maybe that was the other gay brother...

by Anonymousreply 99February 6, 2023 3:03 AM

Just to be sure after 100 posts: The number of posters here who had sex with him is still zero, right?

by Anonymousreply 100February 6, 2023 5:02 AM

R100 We don't fuck midgets!

by Anonymousreply 101February 6, 2023 5:26 AM

Who here has gotten Chlamydia from Mateo, raise your hands please.

by Anonymousreply 102February 6, 2023 5:59 AM

Has anyone explained that when purses fall out of Matteo's mouth it's an instant boner killer to he men tops? That's the consensus among the macho tops over at Shady Pines. None of them would fuck him.

by Anonymousreply 103February 6, 2023 10:41 AM

R103 I just turned 34. It’s a boner killer for most of the gay men I know.

Doesn’t make him a bad person.

by Anonymousreply 104February 6, 2023 11:36 AM

[quote]Because he is four foot, six.

Only four? And who is six?

by Anonymousreply 105February 6, 2023 12:27 PM

r105 should be dipped in a vat of acid.

by Anonymousreply 106February 6, 2023 3:51 PM

R100 One second hand report in R11. So I’ll generously give it a “1”.

by Anonymousreply 107February 6, 2023 5:08 PM

This anti-femme shit that has been in the gay world for decades is rooted in misogyny...period...as an elder gay I have been seeing this and it is such a disappointment but I understand the roots of it all...fortunately so many gay people are not prejudice in this way....and don't say its a bout chemistry or attraction...where do you think the societal impact on that is? The sociological ethos you grew up with? It is learned and NOT inherent, like being gay....I'd go on but I know there is so little interest..

by Anonymousreply 108February 6, 2023 5:31 PM

[quote] This anti-femme shit that has been in the gay world for decades is rooted in misogyny

What frustrates me about this is that I expect a higher sensitivity from gays about this topic. LGBTI have been persecuted forever. It's finally gradually getting better, up to a point of going really well for some. Most of us still remember what they went through back in the days - not even that long ago. Some of our community still cannot come out to family and friends. And yet, when it comes to suffering of others, the gays - maybe not that many gays - have no problem discriminating those they don't feel affiliated with. So supporting feminine gays is only vital if you are one yourself. If not, they are on their own. And don't get me started on discrimination of transgenders by gays and lesbians. Yes, many are very supportive. The few that are not - I don't understand those gays. Indifference, I get. But the occasional vitriolic hate on this board, is mind boggling.

by Anonymousreply 109February 6, 2023 5:54 PM

Seriously folks, most of these guys DL who swear "I'd never fuck a nelly queen" are completely unfuckable themselves.

by Anonymousreply 110February 6, 2023 5:56 PM

I think he’s cute and would be fun to hang out with but I doubt he’d give me the time of day…..so there’s that.

by Anonymousreply 111February 6, 2023 6:04 PM

There's a difference between men that have what are considered to be feminine qualities, and men that highlight and emphasize and exaggerate stereotypical feminine behavior to the extent that it and they become caricatures.

The sexual desirability of those two types of men is different for different men.

Not appreciating the second group doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't date or fuck the first group.

by Anonymousreply 112February 6, 2023 6:39 PM

JFC, r112, put a cork in it.

NO ONE CARES about your dumb masculinity meter. You're like an insecure 16 year old.

by Anonymousreply 113February 6, 2023 6:45 PM

Over the top flamboyant queens are a total dick wilter. Sorry, they just are. I'm just not attracted to them.

by Anonymousreply 114February 6, 2023 7:02 PM

Ok sir, R114. You're the master!

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by Anonymousreply 115February 6, 2023 7:47 PM

What about Abbe Lane? Have any of you old coots slept with Abbe Lane?

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by Anonymousreply 116February 6, 2023 9:37 PM

“Stay in your own Lane, Matteo!”

by Anonymousreply 117February 6, 2023 9:39 PM

His bit about the show "Ghost Adventures" is hilarious, and so true.

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by Anonymousreply 118February 7, 2023 12:19 AM

r118 Janeane Garofalo did a Ghost Adventures bit years before Matteo did.

by Anonymousreply 119February 7, 2023 12:54 AM

r108 yes, homophobia is misogyny and masculinity is the patriarchy, therefore gay men cannot never be men, though all of male sexuality is homosexual. Feminist logic 101: "Where are MY gays?!?!?!"

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by Anonymousreply 120February 7, 2023 1:20 AM

[quote] Janeane Garofalo did a Ghost Adventures bit years before Matteo did.

I don't quite know what that has to do with anything, but okay. It's not like Janeane Garofalo has some sort of copyright on personal Ghost Adventures stories.

by Anonymousreply 121February 7, 2023 2:01 AM

he was over it after it was done

That's how a trick should be, so that's a plus for him, do it with little chat and begone.

by Anonymousreply 122February 7, 2023 2:05 AM

A one night trick is like hiring a whore. You don't pay 'em to show up. You pay 'em to leave.

by Anonymousreply 123February 7, 2023 2:09 AM

Masc for masc douchebros are, well, douches. I'm fairly masculine and couldn't care less how anyone else expresses themselves. No, you don't need to be attracted to femme guys but you also don't need to be so rude and vocal about it. No one cares anyway. Do you think loudly stating your distaste for femme guys makes you special or unique? Because it doesn't. It's basic as fuck, actually. Conformity is boring and mindless, and so are you.

by Anonymousreply 124February 7, 2023 2:11 AM

I think it's similar to closeted straight guys ranting about how fags make them sick to their stomachs.

by Anonymousreply 125February 7, 2023 2:15 AM

Same for me, R85. My only reasons for blocking someone are Trumpism, transphobia, and homophobia.

Says a lot, doesn't it?

by Anonymousreply 126February 7, 2023 2:15 AM

"Closeted straight guys?"

by Anonymousreply 127February 7, 2023 2:22 AM

You've never known any straight married men with wives and kids who go out once in a while looking for some dick? I've known several. They live the straight life and basically masturbate in secret to gay porn they keep well hidden. But like Mr. Spock there are times when the homo Pon Farr happens and they get that unrelenting urge in their loins for the real thing. They pick a time when they can get out at night, alone, and they get that dick. This satisfies them for a while.

by Anonymousreply 128February 7, 2023 2:36 AM

R93 He lives in Brooklyn, and in that right on context, telegraphing ethnicity is his key to greater credibility and an ability to touch more subjects on stage. His name is Matthew and he should always be reminded of that, whether or not Matteo truly is a family nickname,.

by Anonymousreply 129February 7, 2023 2:37 AM

I enjoy his comedy. I think he is attractive. He’s just not my type. I cannot picture of him at a sports event with me.

by Anonymousreply 130February 7, 2023 2:47 AM

So many raging butch tops on a notoriously bitchy gay chat board obsessed with celebrities, gossip and effeminate interests.

by Anonymousreply 131February 7, 2023 2:50 AM

r29 she said as she flames from outer space

by Anonymousreply 132February 7, 2023 2:53 AM

How many screaming Yasss Qweens are in gay porn? Case closed. They're dick wilters for most men.

by Anonymousreply 133February 7, 2023 3:27 AM

He could be "the gay friend" in something; a sitcom or a film. If he doesn't step up that way he'll flame out soon with the supergay schtick, like Joel Creasey did.

by Anonymousreply 135February 7, 2023 5:51 AM

THE ARMY, THE NAVY AND THE MARINES ARE LOOKING FOR A

FEW GOOD MEN WHO HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH MATTEO LANE!!!

by Anonymousreply 137February 7, 2023 6:11 AM

Derivative of Mario Cantone.

by Anonymousreply 138February 7, 2023 11:09 AM

All of this discussion of masc vs fem (femme?) is missing the larger point. Mathew parodies stereotypes of fem gays with no attempt at deeper insightfulness or observation. Straights love it b/c they feel released to laugh at it…b/c he’s gay, so they have permission without crossing socially acceptable prohibition against doing so. (Some) gays may enjoy it b/c they can laugh at the triviality and we all have/enjoy friends who may act like that, to a certain degree.

All gays and our advocates should be offended by that alone, regardless of whether or not he is fem in his private life. His ‘humor’ or ‘comedy’ isn’t searching or intelligent, it’s base and puerile affectation. If you just read the text of his routine without the vaudeville act, you’d plainly see it’s unfunny. There’s no comedic intelligence to it.

I’m a masc gay man attracted to masc gay men. I have no problem whatsoever with fem or effeminate men. My mind decides all by itself what to be drawn to, sexually. It’s innate and subconscious. My dick doesn’t have a diversity and inclusion rider, even though my conscious mind does.

by Anonymousreply 139February 7, 2023 12:13 PM

Thank you R139, but I think most of us can decide for ourselves what we are offended at. But you do you.

by Anonymousreply 140February 7, 2023 12:22 PM

R139 doesn't even get points for trying it on. Not with that Sheboygan Stripmall Conservatory of Queer Studies critique. But I agree that Matteo isn't sophisticated.

by Anonymousreply 141February 7, 2023 12:30 PM

I think his he'd be the first to admit he is not sophisticated. He's from Arlington Heights, Ill, and grew up on the same street with a whole pack of his cousins, & worked at Michael's craft store (where he was fired from for stealing). He's not even gold star gay. He dated girls in his youth until he decided dick was the way of life.

by Anonymousreply 142February 7, 2023 12:48 PM

I didn't say that to slander him. His YouTube bits show his limitations while his standup can be better. He spends too much time on "low hanging fruit". This unsophisticated taste means he's not a comedy great, in my parameters. I don't mind Matteo and think he's sexy. By the way I never avoided "flamers" as sex partners. Many "super gay" men have a lot of balls and can be quite alpha in behavior. There are even super flamers who are tops and hung, go figure.

by Anonymousreply 143February 7, 2023 12:58 PM

The monster in this vid should remind you of a certain shirt lifting, toe clutching, poof prancer..

it's not just the swish, he's trashy and any other topic, if he wasn't a celeb that pranced and poofed for your entertainment, you'd slaughter him for yachting pig that he is. Go search instagram with his name, you can see which islands he vacations and with whom... and how he acts off the stage.

so, you can detract your claws, nellies.

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by Anonymousreply 144February 7, 2023 1:10 PM

R144 what are you getting at?

by Anonymousreply 146February 7, 2023 1:16 PM

^^ I don't think he even knows himself.

by Anonymousreply 147February 7, 2023 1:25 PM

R144 Put down the meth pipe, Blanche.

That clip doesn't make any sense in this context.

by Anonymousreply 148February 7, 2023 1:34 PM

Something something about the actor playing the bar floozy. Or is it something something about the bar floozy character? But then some how that skinny unattractive actor is a highly prized, jet setting, yacht boy?

by Anonymousreply 149February 7, 2023 1:42 PM

Matteo has claimed in interviews that he is no party guy. When he's not on the road he's a homebody.

I've always heard that most comedians are nothing like their stage persona in real life.

by Anonymousreply 150February 7, 2023 1:49 PM

I can be like that. I am as introvert as can be. But at work I can talk like nobody else, almost talking myself in a frenzy when presenting something. It depletes me completely, but while I am out there, I am having fun.

by Anonymousreply 151February 7, 2023 3:32 PM

[quote]so, you can detract your claws, nellies.

Oh, dear!

by Anonymousreply 152February 7, 2023 4:38 PM

Every comedian I've ever known/worked with has been downbeat and noticeably depressive when they're not on.

by Anonymousreply 153February 7, 2023 8:51 PM

Here's Matteo on with Modi Rosenfeld. He's not in performance mode and you can see when he's not on the femmy side is greatly reigned in.

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by Anonymousreply 154February 8, 2023 12:47 AM

[quote] Just to be sure after 100 posts: The number of posters here who had sex ever is still zero, right?

FIFY

by Anonymousreply 155February 8, 2023 12:54 AM

Does she strain her pasta? Does she smoother it in gravy?

by Anonymousreply 159February 8, 2023 6:25 AM

Cute Expressive face, nice fit body, funny and conversational, I wouldn't say no to Mateo... :-)

by Anonymousreply 160February 8, 2023 6:37 AM

r158 he's American. Most American men are cut.

by Anonymousreply 161February 8, 2023 3:23 PM

I liked when he went to Olive Garden with that provincial friend of his. God, American food is disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 162February 9, 2023 9:46 AM

I think he's an unfunny, trashy faggot fuckwit. His whole career is based on his sexuality, take away the gay and he has no career!

by Anonymousreply 163February 9, 2023 9:56 AM

Femme gay humor died with Leslie Jordan, actually it died a long, long time before that and was never funny to begin with, ala Mr Humphries from Are You Being Served, Kenneth Williams, et. al.

by Anonymousreply 165February 9, 2023 11:34 AM

Matteo would be great in a reboot of Are You Being Served!

by Anonymousreply 166February 9, 2023 11:36 AM

He's more like Manuel from Fawlty Towers

by Anonymousreply 167February 9, 2023 11:45 AM

Like all comedians Matteo is in the starting phase in his comedy career. He's new, getting himself noticed, making a name for himself. And as he himself puts it, he had a budding career as a storyboard artist and a fashion illustrator, and now he's doin' dick jokes. As his career matures he'll segue into a new phase.

One thing's for sure. People all over like him, and see in him someone who is deserving of help and support. People went out of their ways to help him in his earlier art career and he is clearly well thought of by a lot of people in the comedy world. Some of the big players have gone out of their ways to help him. That says a lot about him. He's not one of those assholes who works at making others dislike him.

I'm betting he'll get an acting gig at some point. I'd love to see him on a comedy series that'll have a good long run. The boy has amazing talent. He's able to make lots of straight people laugh there asses off at his gay humor. Those who hate his humor don't matter.

by Anonymousreply 168February 9, 2023 11:59 AM

R168 Are you his agent?

He's a hack who ruins the bit by constantly trying to work his operatic voice in the joke.

It get hoots and hollers from the 20-something straight girl gender-queer yasss queen wannabes, but hardly anyone else.

by Anonymousreply 169February 9, 2023 12:12 PM

Uh huh, yeah right R169. You'd better run or you'll miss your bus.

by Anonymousreply 170February 9, 2023 12:19 PM

R154 Seems just as flaming in that clip as he does on stage.

by Anonymousreply 171February 9, 2023 12:26 PM

r168 is Matteo, who we should have known was a Data Lounger

by Anonymousreply 172February 9, 2023 12:31 PM

He's just another obnoxious gay stereotype to be ashamed of.

by Anonymousreply 173February 9, 2023 12:32 PM

I imagine him shrieking opera as he is being pounded

by Anonymousreply 174February 9, 2023 12:34 PM

[quote] He's just another obnoxious gay stereotype to be ashamed of.

I think that's why we have Pride every year. You can be gay in any way you want and be proud about it.

by Anonymousreply 175February 9, 2023 12:59 PM

R172 I feel pity for people like you. You're just as batshit crazy as people like MAGA republicans spouting insane conspiracy theories.

by Anonymousreply 176February 9, 2023 1:26 PM

R176 Matteo, put down the glass pipe and work on some new jokes for your act.

by Anonymousreply 177February 9, 2023 1:29 PM

I blocked 172, and with him 173 and 174 disappeared at the same time. Is that a poster's way to gain gravitas, appearing like multiple posters, possibly appearing like a crowd thinking alike? Come on man, it's an anonymous online board. None of the power play you try here matters in real life. Not the way you do it.

by Anonymousreply 178February 9, 2023 2:42 PM

R168 Aw, that's sweet. Thanks for posting this, Matteo's mom!

by Anonymousreply 179February 9, 2023 3:06 PM

[quote]he's American. Most American men are cut.

not fair.

by Anonymousreply 180February 9, 2023 4:25 PM

His hole must be busted open by now, you can tell it by looking at his face.

by Anonymousreply 181February 9, 2023 6:45 PM

I want to sit on that moustache.

by Anonymousreply 182February 10, 2023 2:53 AM

Matteo Lane has clearly googled his name and has come across this thread and is not happy!

by Anonymousreply 183February 10, 2023 8:03 AM

She'd definitely have a Google Alert in place. And they do pick these threads up.

by Anonymousreply 184February 10, 2023 8:24 AM

R168: I genuinely love your work Matteo. Don't listen to the haters.

by Anonymousreply 185February 10, 2023 9:16 AM

R185 I'm sure Matteo would appreciate your comment, but it was wasted on me.

But oh well, that's the DL way. Assume, assume & ass u me. Oh and let's not forget, accuse.

By the way, here are my DL stats. If Matteo has the time to devote this much energy to DL, his career must really be in the dumper. 🤫

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by Anonymousreply 186February 10, 2023 12:58 PM

Things aren't funny just because you say them in a fem voice

by Anonymousreply 187February 10, 2023 1:05 PM

Matteo's next standup set:

Ciao Bella...so, I fucked this guy last night...ave MARIA!... I'm gay, did I tell you I'm gay?...so, then I got bored and kicked him out, he had a huge dick and a small brain... hahaha... I was scrolling round the internet ....NESSUN DORMA!....and I found this gay site for old fags.. totally iconic....did I tell you I was gay? laaaaaaaaaaa...anyway they had this thread about my sex life and i was like gurrrllllllll......slaaaayy...MEMORY, all alone in the moonlight.... I was blown away...like not literally, that was like two hours later by this hot negro bro in the subway deLICIOUS!...so these old fags were bitching about me...VISSI d'Arte'!!!....but you know, I don't care cause you know, I'm young and hot and like, theyre not, did I tell you I'm gay? my brother's gay too, yeah I know, my poor dad....AVE MARIA! Merci beaucoup

by Anonymousreply 188February 10, 2023 1:30 PM

Where is he located anyway (where is his tinder profile)?

by Anonymousreply 189February 10, 2023 2:26 PM

R186, you started 872 threads????

by Anonymousreply 190February 10, 2023 2:43 PM

That's what it says. I admit, I'm shocked myself. But then, being retired I have lots of free time.

by Anonymousreply 191February 10, 2023 2:49 PM

A pocket gay in nyc and admitted bottom who travels the country at crappy comedy clubs and no one has fucked him other than a friend of a friend?

by Anonymousreply 192February 10, 2023 3:41 PM

I bet he's a screamer in the sack. I wouldn't say no to him.

by Anonymousreply 193February 10, 2023 9:59 PM

[quote]Have you "slept" with Matteo Lane?

No, but I fall asleep any time I see his nazzzzzzzzz zzzzz zzzzzz

zzzzzzzzz

by Anonymousreply 194February 10, 2023 10:24 PM

I'd love to have him screaming under me.

by Anonymousreply 195February 11, 2023 5:57 AM

Funny guy but I have higher standards.

by Anonymousreply 196February 11, 2023 6:33 AM

So many people who think Matteo is beneath their standards. Pretty amazing.

by Anonymousreply 197February 11, 2023 7:32 AM

When in reality, it's more likely Matteo who wouldn't give them a second look.

by Anonymousreply 198February 11, 2023 2:16 PM

R28- You’re entitled to your opinions so all I have to say is-

You Go GURL!

by Anonymousreply 199February 11, 2023 2:25 PM

This is an interesting podcast Matteo did. Interesting because they didn't tell him the podcast was going to be filmed. He was pissed and let them know it, but they all laughed their ways through the anger. Matteo gives a more intimate look into his personal life and admits it ain't all fun and games. It's clear he struggles in many ways.

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by Anonymousreply 201February 12, 2023 12:32 AM

IFHH

Sexy, tight body, I bet he’s vocal - yeah, I bet he’d be a fun lay

by Anonymousreply 202February 12, 2023 12:52 AM

I want to smack the female co-host and her constant cackling.

by Anonymousreply 203February 12, 2023 1:03 AM

He looks furious at the start. The screaming, shrieking woman is obnoxious.

by Anonymousreply 204February 12, 2023 1:11 AM

Arms crossed. Genuine fury. Trying to be professional by making a joke of it but it's not working.

by Anonymousreply 205February 12, 2023 1:14 AM

Watching this interview, he is a text book stand up comedian. He is every one of them I've ever met. Depressive with bottomless self esteem issues. But you can already see that with the extreme perfectionism he has with his body.

by Anonymousreply 206February 12, 2023 1:52 AM

I thought most big American cities have programs so uninsured gay guys can get subsidized PrEP.

by Anonymousreply 207February 12, 2023 5:31 AM

I would think you would have to meet income levels and I'm sure Matteo would not.

by Anonymousreply 208February 12, 2023 6:12 AM

Well he has a nice apartment for someone living below the breadline.

by Anonymousreply 209February 12, 2023 8:37 AM

R209 perhaps you meant ‘below the poverty line’ or ‘on the breadline’?

I know, contemporary phraseology is really hard. Just take your time and write slowly.

🤷‍♂️

by Anonymousreply 210February 12, 2023 9:38 AM

Matteo can do everything (singing, acting, painting, stand-up) , but not very well. His brother, who's also gay, is WAY hotter

by Anonymousreply 211February 12, 2023 10:13 AM

R211 pic, please?

For those of us (most, probably) who don’t give two shits about Mathew or his brother and won’t Google it…

by Anonymousreply 212February 12, 2023 10:17 AM

I'd do both brothers. Not at once, that's sheer vulgarity.

by Anonymousreply 213February 12, 2023 10:47 AM

R201 He comes off as a real asshole in this podcast.

He's the kind of person I would never hang out with.

by Anonymousreply 214February 12, 2023 12:17 PM

He is mostly Mexican and Irish?

by Anonymousreply 215February 12, 2023 12:51 PM

Doesn't the Screen Actor's Guild have an insurance plan that is affordable? He's acted on multiple TV shows and a movie. So I would think he has a SAG card.

I hope he's not operating on the idea that "I'm young, strong, and I'll never get sick" because that's a recipe for disaster.

by Anonymousreply 216February 12, 2023 12:53 PM

Matteo's gay brother Vince is indeed hot as a firecracker. He's a senior 'Human Interface Designer' for Apple out in California.

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by Anonymousreply 217February 12, 2023 12:57 PM

Exactly when did you first start experiencing problems with your sight R218?

by Anonymousreply 219February 12, 2023 1:15 PM

R217 Snaggle tooth, elf ears, and that dumb stud in his hear. It's gotta go.

Definitely not hot. But then again, neither is Matteo.

by Anonymousreply 220February 12, 2023 1:17 PM

R217 - that is the face of a man who is passionately into filthy things.

I'll need a few moments in the boudoir to calm down.

by Anonymousreply 221February 12, 2023 1:18 PM

R218 agreed. Not unattractive, but not hot.

Is he an animated midget too, like Mateo?

by Anonymousreply 222February 12, 2023 1:23 PM

I've always found men with pronounced canines quite sexy. It adds to their animalistic appeal. Vince may be gay, but he's apparently into pussy too.

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by Anonymousreply 223February 12, 2023 1:24 PM

Vince and his hubby on the day of their wedding.

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by Anonymousreply 224February 12, 2023 1:26 PM

[quote]He is pretty interesting to talk to outside of comedy. Speaks a few languages, trained in opera (knows Monet XChange too, who also is trained in opera). I would have shot my shot but he was fucking a friend of mine so off limits.

R52 Unless one speaks the same languages, or likes opera, why would that make him interesting to talk to?

by Anonymousreply 225February 12, 2023 1:27 PM

R224 Aw, charming pic. If his hubby isn’t 5’2” then brother isn’t necessarily vertically cursed like the ‘comedian’.

by Anonymousreply 226February 12, 2023 1:28 PM

[quote] Unless one speaks the same languages, or likes opera, why would that make him interesting to talk to?

Good God man, are you seriously that simple minded?

by Anonymousreply 227February 12, 2023 1:29 PM

Matteo is 5'11", so he's hardly a shorty.

by Anonymousreply 228February 12, 2023 1:31 PM

Matteo's sister Kate is a pro bodybuilder.

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by Anonymousreply 229February 12, 2023 1:35 PM

^oy. The kids in that family seem to have a lot of insecurity obsessions. Their parents must have really done a number on them.

by Anonymousreply 230February 12, 2023 1:37 PM

He’s hot, also just femmy enough to be funny and not too much to be off-putting

by Anonymousreply 231February 12, 2023 1:38 PM

R227 I must be. Does not knowing the same languages as Matteo or liking opera make me simple-minded?

by Anonymousreply 232February 12, 2023 1:39 PM

[quote] Does not knowing the same languages as Matteo or liking opera make me simple-minded?

I dare say he has far more things he likes to talk about than opera. Just because he was trained in opera, and art, and is a comedian, do you think those are the only subjects he's interested in talking about?

by Anonymousreply 234February 12, 2023 1:45 PM

[quote]Matteo can do everything (singing, acting, painting, stand-up) , but not very well.

Jack of all trades....But yeah, other than comedy, he seems to have dabbled in a lot of different things, not anything notable about them ever came of it. I think comedy works for him the best but I wish he would lose the singing thing, it's not impressive and it makes people feel obliged to give him an applause. Also, his shallow queen BFF in NYC that he's been doing videos with is boring AF.

by Anonymousreply 235February 12, 2023 1:51 PM

"trained in opera" = "walked for Gaultier"

If I had a dollar for every jolie laide scenester who bragged they have "walked for Gaultier".....

by Anonymousreply 236February 12, 2023 1:56 PM

[quote] Also, his shallow queen BFF in NYC that he's been doing videos with is boring AF.

I think Nick Smith's shallow routine is a perfect foil for Matteo. Matteo describes Nick as his 'frenemy' and jokes about what a horrible person he is. But you can tell they genuinely enjoy each other's company. Matteo does a hilarious imitation of Nick's voice. And Nick does come off with a zinger every now and then. And I still say his roller coaster story is funny as hell.

by Anonymousreply 237February 12, 2023 2:05 PM

R234 1. I never said that, did I? 2. How the fuck should I know what else he likes to talk about? Do you? Knowing a few languages is not going to make you a better conversationalist in English. KNowing opera is great if you like opera, which most people don't. Get it, now?

by Anonymousreply 238February 12, 2023 2:09 PM

R238, from this statement, you most certainly inferred that the only interesting things one could discuss with him would be those things. You've clearly prejudged him. Oh yes, I got it at R225.

[quote] Unless one speaks the same languages, or likes opera, why would that make him interesting to talk to?

by Anonymousreply 239February 12, 2023 2:14 PM

Matteo seems to have a problem being himself.

by Anonymousreply 240February 12, 2023 2:22 PM

[quote]from this statement, you most certainly inferred that the only interesting things one could discuss with him would be those things. You've clearly prejudged him.

I'm going to assume it's not you, or your comprehension skills, that maybe it's me who is not making my self clear. I most certainly did not infer that. I was talking about the poster. The poster claimed:

[quote]He is pretty interesting to talk to outside of comedy. Speaks a few languages, trained in opera (knows Monet XChange too, who also is trained in opera).

The poster used these two things as prime examples, or proof, of why Matteo is "pretty interesting to talk to." It's the same as if he had said, "Knows higher math, trained in ballet". I was saying that's great if you like those things, or can talk about them. They seem pretty specific things most people have little interest in. Not suggesting Matteo has no other interests.

by Anonymousreply 241February 12, 2023 2:35 PM

Matteo Lane is NOT 5'11" Not in 1 million years. His friend he does You Tube with is 6'2". and he barely comes up to his chest.

by Anonymousreply 242February 12, 2023 3:25 PM

Okay R241. I'll concede. If I misunderstood you I apologize. Now, let's move on to cutie Matteo and his sexy big brother.

by Anonymousreply 243February 12, 2023 3:47 PM

[quote]Matteo's gay brother Vince is indeed hot as a firecracker.

He's got that Shannen Doherty wonky eye thing.

by Anonymousreply 244February 12, 2023 4:45 PM

The sister looks just like Matteo in the face. That smile, those eyes.

One thing I really love about Matteo is his self deprecating style. He works with what he's got and tries to make the best of it, but he knows full well he's not a perfect specimen and is happy to admit it.

by Anonymousreply 245February 12, 2023 5:09 PM

In that podcast, he says when he goes out, he like to sit and talk with people.

Correction: he likes to sit and TALK AT people. I can't picture him shutting up long enough to let someone else get a word in edge wise.

by Anonymousreply 246February 12, 2023 5:20 PM

R229 Susan Powter meets Roxette.

by Anonymousreply 247February 12, 2023 5:23 PM

I’ll reserve judgment on the brother’s looks until I see him [italic]without[/italic] the beard.

by Anonymousreply 248February 12, 2023 5:37 PM

I can’t believe his parents produced three gay kids!

They could have a gay pride parade all by themselves.

by Anonymousreply 249February 12, 2023 6:20 PM

I like the lanky Nick and would like to drain his cock down my throat. Hopefully it's long and veiny.

by Anonymousreply 253February 12, 2023 8:02 PM

Nick likes Olive Garden. She's a total peasant.

by Anonymousreply 254February 13, 2023 7:45 AM

Nick says he tells all prospective gentleman callers, "I eat like a 5 year old, chain restaurants and fast food, so if you can't deal with that, stay home". 🤫

by Anonymousreply 255February 13, 2023 1:25 PM

Does Matteo fancy himself as a sort of Renaissance man?

by Anonymousreply 256February 13, 2023 1:28 PM

R255 the alarming thing is he thinks 5 y/o’s eat like that. They don’t unless they suffer a complete lack of competent parenting.

He eats like a lazy low-income 25 y/o. That’s a more accurate description.

by Anonymousreply 257February 13, 2023 1:55 PM

R256 yeah, the Brooklyn third generation immigrant variety. Not the classic revival high art sort.

by Anonymousreply 258February 13, 2023 1:56 PM

R255 wait, is he those things? I have no idea who’s being referenced, haven’t seen the vid.

If he is, he could just say “I eat how you’d guess I do” or “I eat to type” and leave it at that instead of mistaking his semantic disclaimer as cutesy or innocent.

by Anonymousreply 259February 13, 2023 2:03 PM

Nick grew up in a town of 400 in rural Pennsylvania. He said the closest Olive Garden was a 35 minute drive and was only for very special occasions. He may be a New York City real estate agent these days, but as they say "you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy". Frankly, I think it's charming that unlike most New York transplants he doesn't try to make himself look like he was born and raised in a 5th Ave. penthouse. He's more than comfortable with how and where he grew up and isn't interesting in pretending to be anything else.

by Anonymousreply 260February 13, 2023 2:17 PM

A late old dear friend of mine who grew up a dirt poor country boy, but made a fortune through shear guts and intelligence always said "I might have moved to town, but I'm still country".

by Anonymousreply 261February 13, 2023 2:22 PM

R260 I was born and raised in rural IA. We didn’t eat like that there. I’ve lived in NYC for ~15 years, I don’t eat like that here. Whole foods, self respect, and personal enterprise in the kitchen aren’t a rural/urban or pretentiousness/realness trade-off.

by Anonymousreply 262February 13, 2023 2:22 PM

Well good for you R262. You're you, and not everyone grew up or turned out a carbon copy of you.

Nick is thin as a rake As he said in the video, he doesn't look at calories, and probably doesn't have to.

by Anonymousreply 263February 13, 2023 2:31 PM

[quote]made a fortune through shear guts

He’s a surgeon?

by Anonymousreply 264February 13, 2023 2:56 PM

Nick is also a virgin, he admitted it in the Museum of Sex Video.

by Anonymousreply 265February 13, 2023 3:09 PM

Matteo needs to give Nick the night of his life. But I doubt Nick is Matteo's type.

I did have to laugh in one of Matteo's videos when he was cooking and he said something about cooking the sauce down to thicken it. Nick retorted "you always did like it thick".

by Anonymousreply 266February 13, 2023 6:11 PM

These days when people claim to be virgins it usually means they've sucked or cranked off a million people but think they're "a virgin" because their hole is unsullied.

by Anonymousreply 268February 13, 2023 10:51 PM

Nick is the protagonist in that relationship: Boring, unattractive, skinny fat, Walmart eating habits, pretentious, pushy bottom incel. It makes Matteo look good by comparison. I mean come on, between the two, is there any doubt who the first pic most gay men would chose if given that option?

by Anonymousreply 269February 14, 2023 2:23 AM

Nick didn't say he was a virgin, he said "virginal".

by Anonymousreply 270February 14, 2023 2:28 AM

R270 sounds like a load of fun in the sack.

I’d imagine he meant virginal as in a plethora of psychosexual issues and not the lack of experience kind.

by Anonymousreply 271February 14, 2023 2:33 AM

[quote] I always wonder about the posters attacking out gay men for being feminine. I either picture rabid closet cases or complete hypocrites with extreme deficits of masculinity of their own.

Why is everyone so surprised that effeminate men are not valued by gay men? If it reminds you of a woman it's a turn off. It's not that hard to understand. Many gays are just clowns. I've hooked up with very nelly gays that were masculine in bed. It's a show and it's a big turn off to many of us. Deal with it.

by Anonymousreply 272February 14, 2023 2:37 AM

Nick doesn't drink, take drugs or have sex.

by Anonymousreply 273February 14, 2023 2:42 AM

R269 protagonist? What could you be trying to say?

by Anonymousreply 274February 14, 2023 2:44 AM

Many years ago Matteo was a moderately unattractive dork, with dorky, effeminate interests that got him extensively ridiculed as a child and teen. And he's radically reinvented himself, particularly with his perfectionist body, hair plugs and his zealous pursuit of popularity and adulation, through a comedy career.

by Anonymousreply 275February 14, 2023 2:49 AM

[quote]most gay men would chose

Oh, dear!

by Anonymousreply 276February 14, 2023 6:11 PM

He actually had his scalp closed up to eliminate his bald spot.

by Anonymousreply 277February 14, 2023 7:45 PM

I’m wary of comedians who try too hard to be fit and sexy.

by Anonymousreply 278February 14, 2023 7:51 PM

Every time I've met or worked. with a comedian I've gone off them. They are all emotional black holes.

by Anonymousreply 279February 15, 2023 10:45 AM

[quote] Every time I've met or worked. with a comedian I've gone off them.

Huh?

by Anonymousreply 280February 15, 2023 3:05 PM

R280, R279 flunked his TOEFL.’

Take it easy on him, learning a foreign language is difficult.

by Anonymousreply 281February 15, 2023 3:15 PM

Gone off, does it mean that you stop liking or following this person?

by Anonymousreply 282February 15, 2023 3:20 PM

Yes, that's what he was trying to say. R279 is probably a Brit, or someone trying to emulate Britishisms.

by Anonymousreply 283February 15, 2023 3:24 PM

"Met or worked with" = served coffee to?

by Anonymousreply 285February 15, 2023 3:33 PM

The nelliest nellie that ever nelled.

by Anonymousreply 286February 15, 2023 3:46 PM

Matteo seems ok, but as a general observation, most comedians, amateur or otherwise have a lot of issues. Comedy is their shield or weapon depending on who it is. Stay far away from Improve Gays. They are the worst of the worst. Especially the ones that just took their first class which you MUST come to for support or you are not their friend. The thing is, their awkwardness in front of people trying to make up shit on the fly is what people are laughing at. Not the hard work putting together an actual standup routine which takes time to write and practice delivery.

by Anonymousreply 287February 27, 2023 4:50 AM

I get a very 'I'm famous so you are out of my league" vibe from him, like he should only have sex with runway models and instahoes.

by Anonymousreply 288February 27, 2023 3:09 PM

R288 Yes, he's an admitted narcissistic who's body obsessed, so I'm sure he only gives attention to beautiful guys with beautiful bodies.

by Anonymousreply 289February 27, 2023 3:34 PM

I mean, famous or not, he’s super hot. Why wouldn’t he only get with beautiful-bodied guys?

by Anonymousreply 290February 27, 2023 3:39 PM

This thread is full of homophones, right? Write?

by Anonymousreply 291February 27, 2023 3:49 PM

R291 I haven't stumbled upon a single homophone in this thread.

Unless someone misspelled "knew" when they meant "new."

by Anonymousreply 292February 27, 2023 3:58 PM

R290 Yes, he's a typical gay body queen.

by Anonymousreply 293February 27, 2023 3:59 PM

Are we assuming that, or do we have direct knowledge?

I don't know why, but I find that very disappointing.

by Anonymousreply 294February 27, 2023 4:14 PM

I hear Matty had to have plastic surgery on his hole because of all the BBC he gets.

by Anonymousreply 295February 27, 2023 5:28 PM

I hear Matty had to have plastic surgery on his hole because of all the BBC he gets.

by Anonymousreply 296February 27, 2023 5:29 PM

Does anyone know what type of men that Matteo is into? I see him hugging a couple of black men on his IG page, but they are fellow comedians.

by Anonymousreply 297February 27, 2023 5:32 PM

Matteo Lane sounds like a boulevard.

by Anonymousreply 298February 27, 2023 9:30 PM

Hei is tiny...like really tiny. I know he say she is 5'9" but if you watch the video where he does Bob the Drag Queens makeup, Bob is almost as tall as him sitting down.

by Anonymousreply 299February 27, 2023 10:03 PM

He makes such a big deal about being Italian, but he’s only 1/4 Italian - the rest of his ancestry is Mexican and Irish.

by Anonymousreply 301March 1, 2023 12:45 AM

^ but his name is Matteo! My world has just fallen down around me.

(Love it when Western European mutts build their entire self identity around a sliver of genetic admix)

by Anonymousreply 302March 1, 2023 2:22 AM

[quote] Hon, butch gay men don't say "my stars".

The butch boys say "my stars & garters" as they flounce off in their butch way.

by Anonymousreply 303March 1, 2023 11:28 AM

He speaks fluent Italian though. So I give him props for that. I'd say 90% of Italian Americans cant do that these days.

by Anonymousreply 304March 1, 2023 11:53 AM

I tried, but his Liszha was a dick-wilter.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 305April 19, 2023 3:05 PM

…continued from r306

I bet that the guys dismissing him because he is femme and probably femme boys themselves.

by Anonymousreply 307April 19, 2023 3:56 PM

I don’t dismiss him because he’s fem. I dismiss him because he’s not funny.

by Anonymousreply 308April 19, 2023 6:45 PM

My catty gay friend group watches his comedy specials. I enjoy his show a lot, and to me it seems like he's probably a stealth poster here on DL. His pointless bitchery is very on point with a lot of our talking points here on DL. If he ever plays in New Orleans, I’ll yell “Datalounge loves you honey” from the audience!

by Anonymousreply 309December 28, 2023 11:16 PM

He's just a quadroon dago like so many of us, and you know this Duolingo bitch acts likes it hard to learn. Poor Baby didn't even get the last name, so he changed the first! Desperation.

by Anonymousreply 310December 28, 2023 11:46 PM

He's definitely posting on here. No one else would refer to him as "super hot."

by Anonymousreply 312December 29, 2023 3:00 PM

God I hate this unfunny fegget

by Anonymousreply 313December 29, 2023 3:09 PM

i'd TOTAlLy fuck him hard

by Anonymousreply 314December 29, 2023 3:24 PM

I think Matteo and Nick together are hilarious. But Nick now has his own YouTube channel and (IMO at least) he is unwatchable without someone like Matteo to play off him, and make him look like a fool.

by Anonymousreply 315December 29, 2023 3:25 PM

R9 sounds like a real prince.

by Anonymousreply 316December 29, 2023 7:32 PM

Matteo knows his audience. He's a gay comic for straights. He knows a lot of homos hate him because he's fem, and think he makes us all look bad. His talent is not making homos laugh. It's making straight people laugh and be more open minded about gay men, and I think that's a great thing.

by Anonymousreply 317December 31, 2023 1:16 AM

r74 are you seeing anybody?

by Anonymousreply 318December 31, 2023 2:17 AM

He got married to some hot model type.

by Anonymousreply 319December 31, 2023 2:29 AM

Slept? no? Plowed like a dirty slut pig? Yes.

by Anonymousreply 320December 31, 2023 11:26 PM

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